ce qu'il faut savoir avant de s'engager au mariage 

What you should know before committing to marriage?

Today, marriage is no longer "final" as it was for centuries: divorce is no longer a shame or an exception, and it is therefore possible to end a union if things do not work out as planned. But we must not neglect a very important aspect: when a couple decides to get married, especially in the 21st century in our western societies, it is because both individuals believe in the power of eternal love. There is no obligation to officially seal this union, since parents (or priests) no longer have any say in the matter, and their "reputation" is not at stake!

It is essential to discuss certain aspects of the future spouse (or his or her female counterpart), for the sole purpose of avoiding unpleasant surprises. Indeed, no matter how you prepare for the wedding, there will always be challenges and unforeseen events, so you might as well put all the chances on your side! Here are some important questions to ask in order to get to know the other person perfectly (or at least as well as possible).

 ce qu'il faut savoir avant de s'engager au mariage 

How does the other person see life together?

Some couples have a very close relationship, and even arrange to work together; others need much more latitude, and like to be alone. Still others mix the two extremes. Will meetings with your respective friends be encouraged and frequent? Should your free time be spent together? Make sure that your characters are in agreement on this aspect of married life.

Children or not? How many children?

This is not always the case, but many couples choose to marry to reproduce a "traditional" family model together. If the wife dreams of a large family and the husband agrees to have a child after 7-8 years of living together just to please her, someone is bound to be disappointed with the way things are going.

 ce qu'il faut savoir avant de s'engager au mariage 

How important is money to the other person?

Some people are totally anti-materialistic, refuse to buy a house so they don't have credit, voluntarily dress in thrift stores, and are content with a "bazou" as long as it works and allows them to get around. Others need to show off their success to feel good about themselves. Do you share the same values? And how will you share the accounts?

What about the career?

This point is sometimes related to the previous one, but not necessarily. You can have a profession that is both a vocation and a passion, even if the salary is not extraordinary. If it were necessary, would the other person be willing to leave his or her passion, for example, to find a better paying job, if it becomes essential to pay the bills. On the other hand, the other may place extreme importance on his or her career: will you accept the overtime and sacrifices?

 ce qu'il faut savoir avant de s'engager au mariage 

How important should the in-laws be?

Some people can't imagine a week without a visit from their mom, while others are perfectly content with 2-3 phone calls a year and a Christmas brunch. It is also possible that your spouse has already promised his or her parents that he or she will take them under his or her wing (at home) when they are too old to be independent. Are you on the same page? Because if not, the other person's in-laws could be very (too) intrusive for your taste, and create irreversible tensions.

Do you share the same values on a daily bas?

This may concern politics, religion, ecology, education of the children, the way of eating, etc. It may seem a bit extreme, but if the man only eats pizza and fast food and the woman is an organic vegetarian, there may be a problem in the medium term. You need to talk about these things before you commit.

What do you expect from your seual intimacy?

We don't all have the same expectations when it comes to sex. We can be very much in love with someone, and not agree sexually (in terms of frequency, preferences). Sometimes, what seems "livable" at the beginning of a relationship can easily become an insurmountable obstacle after a few years of living together, when the routine appears.

Would you be willing to travel to the ends of the earth together?

And if an interesting career opportunity arose in another country, would the other person follow? And if you've always dreamed of saving a certain amount of money and then going off to explore the world for two years, would your spouse be willing to follow you?

 ce qu'il faut savoir avant de s'engager au mariage